Number 1: Being in love is not an adequate foundation for building a successful marriage.
*You cannot build a marriage on the idea of being in love.
*This phase, this obsessive, euphoric, “aghapy-it-is” phase, has a life-span.
*It becomes a problem when people build a relationship on this phase while it may not be very stable.
Symptoms of the “in-love” phase:
-Chills around the person
-Butterflies in your stomach
-First touch causes a pounding heartbeat
-Willing to go great lengths to be with the person
-Get along very well with his/her parents
-Sees nothing wrong with the other
*The problem is not the “in-love” phase, but what happens afterwards.
*The “in-love” phase is like being on Novocain after a visit to the dentist. When it wears off, you feel pain that you were
probably not expecting.
*Take the advice of the dentist so that the pain is not as severe; otherwise, you will be in worse pain or will resort to living
off of the medication.
*Misery will or could set in once the “medication” wears off.
*This situation is similar to a deep moment with God during prayer. Going in great depths in your prayer doesn’t happen
as often as we wish. This, very well, may happen in marriage.
*Living off of and expecting this euphoria in everyday life will lead to disappointment.
Why do people get married?
-We are in love! But why do you love each other (a very disliked question)?
-Some get married based on a feeling, but feelings come and go
*People refuse pre-marriage counseling for the sake of “love.” They think they don’t need it because “we love each
other.”
*Falling in love is like catching a big, dumb animal. The hunter observes the animal’s tendencies, makes a trap, and then
boom! The animal falls in the trap just like we “fall in love.”
*Our “love” can be flipped to hate easily; then what will happen to the relationship? It will be destroyed.
*Michael Vick, a well-known football player, had decided to join dog-fighting. He went from the most-loved athlete to
the most hated in the U.S. in one year, according to a ranking. The people can’t control themselves, they hate and then
they love so quickly and vice versa. A problem arises when we allow ourselves to be controlled by our emotions.
*We cannot base our relationships, with God or with a spouse, solely on “love.”
*Research shows that the “in-love” phase only lasts about 2 years, which alone cannot stand to be a foundation for a
life-long marriage.
What are some of the important things that a marriage should be based on?
1. Common Desires
a. Emotional stage - the couple should have an understanding of one another’s emotional desires
b. Emotional control is present within the relationship
2. Spiritual Unity and Common Goals
a. Spirituality should be similar and directed towards the same direction
b. Walking with a similar speed towards Christ
3. Common Social Interests
a. Outlook on family - number of kids, etc.
b. Culture - traditions
c. Social activities
4. Common Values
a. How does each deal with hard times?
5. Common Intellectual Level
a. Similar level of education
*The season of courtship is the time to allow for the couple to explore these five areas, which begins the foundation of the
marriage.
“Open thou mine eyes, that I may behold wondrous things out of thy law.” Psalm 119:18 (KJV)
Cc:copticchurch.org
No comments:
Post a Comment